John Chapter 8

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is probably one of many people’s favorites.  It’s found in John chapter 8.  Jesus is found in the temple courts and He is teaching a lesson to those gathered around him.  All of the sudden, the Pharisees bring in a woman who was caught in adultery and they make her stand before the group of people.  The Pharisees tell everyone of the woman’s crime and they ask Jesus what He thinks is the appropriate action.  After writing in the sand for a bit, Jesus gets up and says many’s favorite phrase in the Bible: "Let any one of you who is without sin cast the first stone."  The first stone, that was probably once tightly gripped in a man's hand, drops.  Then a second.  And a third.  And so on.  Eventually, all of the woman's accusers leave and from what we can tell, just Jesus and the woman are left.  Jesus then asks her where all of her accusers have gone and she claims that they've all left.  And so Jesus replies the best line: "Then neither do I condemn you.  Go now and leave your life of sin."

I love that story.  I love that story because it's one of the best examples of grace.  During a time and culture where adultery was handled very seriously, Jesus is able to change the rules by just offering a few words. He doesn't go into all of the politics of what the Law says.  He doesn't try and be fair and say that the woman deserves the same thing that probably many women before her received as punishment.  He doesn't even ask the woman if she's learned anything from all this or if she's had a change of heart.  He simply offers grace.  And He does it in front of the very group of men that wanted him dead.

I also love this story because my mind wanders to all of the context that we don't know.  And there's plenty of it.  First, I wish I knew where the man that she slept with was.  Was he married?  Was he in a garden somewhere with his head in his hands, knowing that this woman was paying the punishment that he deserved as well?  Was he in the temple praying for forgiveness?  Was he at home trying to explain to his wife why he was unfaithful?  Was he in that very crowd with a stone in his hand?  If that's the case, was the woman set up?  That might explain why it's worded that she was "caught in adultery."  Maybe the Pharisees planned the entire thing.

I also want to know what Jesus was teaching in the temple courts right before the Pharisees brought in the woman. My story-telling side wishes that Jesus was talking about how we need to be people of forgiveness.  That we need to be people who love our neighbor, offer grace and kindness, and that we should never get hot-headed.  My ironic side likes to think that Jesus was just teaching something like, "The Pharisees aren't so bad.  They're getting it.  I mean, they're just doing their job.  I bet they come around eventually."  And of course, my comedic side just thinks that Jesus was teaching them how to make shadow puppets or something.

And then there's the question of why Jesus decided to draw in the sand.  In terms of making the story a little more dramatic, He nailed it.  Create a dramatic pause, wait for the crowd to lean in to hear what He has to say, and then deliver the line that people will repeat to their families and friends.  And while there are a lot of theories out there, they're all just merely theories.  So I'll offer mine (Forgive me if I'm copying someone else's.).  I think that the Pharisees made Jesus extremely frustrated.  As in, to the point of almost irate.  So I think He decides to pause, collect his thoughts and not let His actions get the best of Him.  It would be akin to the athlete that makes the mental error that instead of smashing his racket or spiking the ball on the court or breaking the bat over his knee, he pauses and doesn't let his actions get the best of him.  He knows that the Pharisees want him dead.  And He knows that this question puts Him in between a rock and a hard place.  If He claims that stoning is the appropriate action, He’d be adhering to the Law of Moses but denying what He knows is right.  If He claims that forgiveness is the appropriate route, He’s going against the law and giving more ammo to the Pharisees for his inevitable death. And to top it all off, He knows that He has very few days left on this earth.  With all of this combined, I believe Jesus is fuming on the inside.  But instead of losing it, Jesus instead creates the very first Zen Garden, takes a few breaths, collects His thoughts, and gives Himself enough time to answer the Pharisees' leading question- and turn it into a (potentially) whole new lesson for the group of people He was speaking with.

There are a lot of things we don't know about this story.  But what's great about it is that we don't need to know everything.  Because regardless of knowing the little details, the moral comes out loud and clear.  Don't condemn others.  Don't be the guy that is finding specks in people's eyes when you have a whole 2x4 in yours.  Don't offer judgment on someone else's sin- especially when there's an amazing opportunity to offer grace. 

But there's a second moral.  After Jesus tells the woman that she is forgiven, that He doesn't condemn her, He tells her to "go and leave your life of sin."  I take that as Jesus essentially saying, "I forgive you.  I love you.  You're fine... Now leave that part of your life and don’t ever go back."  I feel like we so often glaze over that part.  And yes, if I had to put this story in a category, it would be under the “God’s Grace” section.  But there’s a part of me that wonders how much we only emphasize God’s grace because that’s more comfortable than everything Jesus is really offering here.  I believe He’s offering grace not only to give a second chance, but because He hopes, desires, and expects the woman to do better in her second chance. 

What’s fascinating to me though is that Jesus didn’t offer His forgiveness conditionally.  The woman didn’t have to do anything, not then or later, to receive His grace.  He just simply told her that He did not condemn her and that she should leave her life of sin.  But what may be bigger here is not what Jesus did for this woman, but what He calls us to do. 

I’m really good at taking stories like this one and talking about what Jesus did for those around Him.  What I’m not so good at is taking what Jesus did and applying the same practices to my life.  The fact that God is full of infinite grace is beyond overwhelming.   And the fact that God will unconditionally offer grace with merely the hope, desire and expectation of us leaving our lives of sin is incredibly important.  But I think the biggest lesson being taught here is that Jesus calls us to be people of infinite grace regardless of our expectation for change.

My most recent boss was a great example of this.  He offered his employees a lot of freedom and was clear about each employee’s “big-picture goals.”  He wasn’t the type to give you a check list to complete by the end of the week.  He didn’t have a lot of demands at all, really.  His approach to leadership was a reciprocal one.  He treated you well, respected you, and supported you.  His expectations for his employees were the same- that they would repay his trust with an honorable and productive work ethic.  Many people would assume that this style of leadership would put my boss in a position where he might get walked over from time to time.  And those people would be right.  My boss did have those who took advantage of his kindness, his trust, and his leadership.  But even when he knew that people were taking advantage of him, he didn’t let that change his leadership style.  He still invested in you, the employee, and would constantly offer you grace with the hope, the desire, and the expectation that you would do better with your second chance. 

In the two short years that I worked under this boss, the number one reason for people in my department working where they did was because of their leader.  And the number one regret of those who left was that they’d be giving up a boss that they truly looked up to.  For there are very few people in this world that can receive grace and immediately change; but there are even fewer people who can offer grace regardless of change occurring. 

However, I won’t pretend like this is easy.  I know for me personally, the battle of grace and what I do with it is a difficult one.  It’s very rarely as simple as “continue to offer grace regardless of the circumstances.”  Proverbs 26:11 compares a fool repeating his folly as a dog returning to his vomit.  And yet Jesus also claims that we need to be people that forgive seventy times seven times.  What I’m realizing though is that these two aren’t contradicting each other- they’re complements.  Offering grace doesn’t mean acting like nothing ever happened.  Offering grace means giving that person the opportunity for redemption.  Whether or not they take it is up to them. 

So when Jesus responds to if the woman should be stoned, He’s not only offering the woman freedom from her sins.  He’s offering the crowd freedom as well.  For giving grace leads to our own freedom.  It offers us the opportunity to let go of what’s frustrating, teeth grinding, and heart wrenching and instead allows us to receive peace and shalom.  It allows us to let go of circumstances that are not in our control.  And it frees us the responsibility to justly discipline those who wronged us.  Condemnation only gives us more to carry.  For Jesus doesn’t tell us to be Him.  He tells us to be like Him.  Our job is to offer grace.  And we’re to offer it to everyone- to those who let us down, disappoint us, fall back in the same old traps, lie to us about their progress, show no sign of hope, hurt us in ways we thought they couldn’t, took advantage of us, or for any other reason- we are to continually offer grace.  Because that’s what Jesus offers us.

Natalie Jean

My sister gave birth to a baby girl about two weeks ago now.  It’s the first baby in the Allen family to be born since October 14^th, 1986.  That’s nearly 25 years.  And since I was indeed that baby that was born nearly 25 years ago, it’s natural for people to question my jealously level.  I never had to deal with “a new addition” before now.  So it’s natural for me to feel like someone is invading my territory a little bit.  No longer can I play the card, “But I didn’t know!  I’m just the youngest (shoulder shrug, kick the dirt).”  Nor can I simply bat my eyes, hang my head and simply say sorry with a funny pseudo-lisp and just get away with my wrongdoings.  The world has changed dramatically for me in just a few short days. 

But to answer your question of whether or not I’m jealous, I answer that with an emphatic, No.  I’m not the jealous type.  No, sir!  I am simply changing roles.  Much like Woody had to do when Buzz LightYear came around, or what the Rocket/Gary Busey had to do when Henry Roengardner started to pitch for the Cubs, or how Hillary Clinton probably felt when Sarah Palin made her run at politics, my role in the Allen-family has shifted.  And it’s shifted to Life Coach.  Yes, I am going to take young, two-week old Natalie Jean under my proverbial wing and teach her how to fly.  Scratch that!  I’m going to teach her how to soar.  Because everyone knows that soaring is much more majestic.  So once the United States stops its faulty democracy and finally becomes a monarchy, Natalie will be its first queen.    

Therefore, here are some tips that I have for you, Natalie (once I teach you how to read next month):

1.       Timing is everything.  The best thing in the world at an inopportune time can be the worst thing in the world.  Example:  Tickling a stranger.

2.       Opt for homeschooling during middle school.  In fact, don’t leave the house during those years. 

3.       Learn to play the piano.  Everybody likes people who can play the piano (just as long as you don’t brag about it or offer yourself to play at social gatherings). 

4.       Don’t own a cell phone till you’re in college. 

5.       Go to college.

6.       It seems like the people I know who’s “All-Time Favorite Fill-in-the-Blank” is current, are not “Contributing People to Society.”  Therefore, start to like the classics.  Books.  Movies.  Music.  Even candy that you’ve never tasted.  Speaking of which, man do I miss reading To Kill a Mockingbird and watching Rain Man with some Bob Dylan in the background and a Zagnut bar in my hand. 

7.       Keep your old t-shirts. 

8.       Don’t forget people’s birthdays.  There are a lot of things you’re allowed to forget- but birthdays are NOT one of them.  People will hold that over your head forever.  Also, sorry again, Mom

9.       Winning isn’t everything.  But it’s something. 

10.   Ask your parents to document your life with pictures- not video.  Home videos that have you in them are really fun for everyone BUT you.  Pictures make you feel better than you were.

11.   Always take the 3 minutes to do something that would cost you a lot more time and money if you had to do it later.  Examples:  Brushing your teeth, reading instructions, and knocking on the door (therapy is expensive). 

I love you, Natalie Jean.  Soon enough, we’ll have our very own handshake. 

Love,

Andy

                  (my niece)

The Value of Opinions

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about people’s opinions.  And no, I haven’t only been thinking about how they’re typically different than mine.  I’ve been mostly interested in how people, including myself, react when we find that others’ opinions oppose our own.  I think most people are quick to defend their opinions first as opposed to stepping back and thinking about their opposition’s.  Why is it that we’re so ready to jump in to heartily defend what we think about certain things?  And it could be about anything.  If you don’t like my clothes, my team, my personality, my drink of choice- I’m probably going to debate you at least a little and try to bring you to my side.

And pretty much everybody does this.  In fact, I can think of very few people who graciously receive an opposing opinion.  Most people I know do one of the following:  

1.       They fight back immediately (e.g. "No, you Dummy, you're wrong- and this is why...).

2.       They’d rather not fight so they reply by faking submission and sneak in a passive insult (e.g. “Oh, yeah, I guess maybe you could be right.  Of course, every fact in the world points to the opposite but you’re absolutely entitled… to your opinion.).

3.       They choose to say nothing and instead sit looking like you’re slightly more inferior than you once were (e.g. Picture your average house cat).

So why are we, as people who claim to be all about freedoms of expressions, beliefs, and actions, so quick to claim that our opinions sit inside the mecca of truth? 

I think the answer is two-fold. 

I think the first part of the answer is because our values are intrinsically tied into our opinions.  The reason I dress the way I dress, the reason I cheer for the teams I cheer for, the reason I love the woman I love, is all because my values are permeated throughout those choices.  Take my wedding ring for example.  I chose a plain, gold band because at heart, I’m a traditionalist, I thought a silver or two-tone ring made me feel like a Hollister model (aka- inherently evil), and because it was my Grandfather’s wedding ring.  Each of things resemble something that I am or want to be and for that, I am wearing the ring I am. 

And we can do this with each and every one of our choices.  For the guy that moved across the country and chose China as his home- his values drove that choice.  For the parents that decided to not attend their child's wedding- their values drove that choice.  For the friends that decided to all live together after college to work on what community really looks like- their values drove that decision.  For the girl who decided that law school would be a good career choice but chose to keep teaching in her high school that desperately needed her- her values drove that decision.  For the couple that stopped doing what was financially best for them and started to do what was financially best for others- their values drove that decision.  

I started to think about all of this when I was walking in downtown Akron and I saw a 35 year old man riding his bike with awkward looking jean shorts, a thick brown belt, a tight, tucked-in red polo, high, white socks and an old-school helmet.   It was at that moment that I thought to myself , “I wouldn’t ever walk out of the house looking like that unless I was going to an 80’s party.”  So in laymen’s terms, I was completely judging the guy.  But as I watched that man ride away, I started to think that Red-Polo guy probably really liked his look.  Actually, he probably felt most comfortable in that look.  You know what, his look probably gave him more comfort than anything I would do to “help” him.  And that’s when “eureka” happened in my head.  I started to have one of those cinematic moments when my whole world rushed by and I watched myself judge others’ taste in music, debated people who like Nutella, argued over why holding hands in church is distracting, and so many other petty (and sometimes pretty shameful) things.  Because even though it’s really easy to debate the random guy who still likes Nickelback, in reality, when I judge or debate others’ opinions, I’m not just opposing their taste.  I’m potentially claiming their values are wrong.  And I need to be careful, caring, and well intentioned to do that. 

Now on to the “second fold.”  I realize that this is a little overdramatic at times.  If you debate me that bananas are NOT horrid, hellish things, well, you’ll lose- but more importantly, I won’t feel like you’re attacking my values.  In fact, there are a ton of things like that.  Each differing opinion doesn’t necessarily constitute an open-field battle.   However, there are plenty of my opinions that I will openly and persistently debate and I have found that when I do that, I’m really saying one of two things:

1.       You’re opposing a value that is really important to me.

or

2.       Your opinions are revealing a value in me that I’m not proud of.

It’s pretty clear to me that if I were to tell someone that their wedding ring is awful to look at, providing they’re wearing it for specific and meaningful reasons (even if it’s two-toned silver), they’d most likely debate me why it’s in fact not awful but rather a meaningful symbol.  However, if the ring they chose was the first one they found and they “kind of liked it,” the debate will probably last all of forty-five seconds.  And that’s because the investment in that thing, or the value that is being displayed, heavily affects how we debate our opinions. 

Now if someone came up to me and told me that I need to work on my “approach” with people- that I don’t show enough care when I confront (care-frontation, if you will) or that I offer more critique than “constructive” criticism- I probably will debate them for a while on that.  And if I’m being honest with myself, I’ll debate my approach because my opinion of it being “the best way to handle conflict or opposition” shows a value of mine that I’m not always proud of.   I value tough love over the gentle love.  I more often choose the route of pure honesty instead of sitting and listening to people vent.  I’ll open up a Christmas present and give my immediate feedback (in my defense though, that’s an Allen-family trait).  And while sometimes these routes are appropriate, there are plenty of times when my reaction is too harsh, or too brash, or too rude.

But the point of this is to not critique how we confront one another but instead, it’s about why we do it.  See, I have an easier time debating than I do saying, “You’re right.” I often times choose to argue instead of humbling myself.  And what’s worse, it takes very little for me engage in these conversations.  Usually all it takes is a non-verbal cue or an inadvertent, tangential remark from a friend’s friend to cause me to defend my opinion.  And while writing this all down is a bit therapeutic, it’s mostly convicting.  Because we defend our opinions of drinking too much, how we treat our co-workers, why we watch what we watch, how hard we work at our jobs, the music we listen to, the best way to drive a car, why we don’t talk to our neighbors, what we did on the weekend, and most importantly, why I’m right and you’re wrong.  But these “opinions” are far more than just that.  These opinions are really giant bumper stickers telling us and everyone else what our values truly are.  And if you’re anything like me, you’re not always proud of the values you’re displaying.

My Boss

For those of you that don't know, I am officially starting a new job on July 25.  I will be going to National Heritage Academies and I'll be recruiting teachers for 13 West Michigan schools.  This is both great and sad news.  Great because I'm excited for the opportunity.  Sad because I'll be leaving a lot of amazing people at Calvin.  One of these people is who you see below.  I've dedicated this week to him because he is the closest thing you'll get to Michael Scott in real life.  I won't give all of the reasons why- just trust me.  Here are three pictures that are iconic Michael Scott moments with Ben Arendt's face attached (note:  I couldn't find enough high resolution pictures of Ben so I had to use the same one thrice.  Fail.).

World's Best Boss:

Diversity Day:

Halloween:

Two More

This week's photos are of my bro-in-law, Taylor.  He's the one that encouraged me to bring these to the world of the internet.  He also is blessed with the nickname "Tay-Train" as I am with the nickname "A-Train."  That is important for the second picture.

"Best Friends"

"The Trains"

My New Thing

I have recently stumbled across my new favorite thing.  It's called the Poor Man's Version of Photoshop.  I call it Microsoft Publisher.  It's a fun little program that allows me to create the best things in life.  Whilst I've been working diligently on my new "art projects," I was also encouraged/challenged by my brother-in-law, Taylor Shipman, to share my visions with the world.  So that's what I'm going to do.  Hopefully.  Each week I will add one photo of my creation and share it with the 7 people that read this blog.  Man, when I say it like that, it's not that big of a deal.  Meh.  However, to kick off this project, I'm going to add three- count em', Three- of my Mind-Thoughts.  Here they are:

This first one started it all.  I call it, "Sleepy John, Tired Pongo, Ever Alert Andy."

This second one was given as a Father's Day gift to my Father-in-Law.  I call it, "An Unexpected Foursome."

This third one was given to my dad for Father's Day.  We have a bit of a different relationship.  And it's great.  I call it, "Just Like Old Times."

Get ready for a lot more of these.  I can only hope that they're only going to get a lot better.  

Talk about Random

Man it’s been a long time since I’ve written in here.  I’m not sure why.  I suppose it’s because I haven’t had anything blog-worthy to write about.  Truth is, I still don’t have anything of said status to write about so I am going to go free style here and see what comes out.  I’m going to do my best to not back space, not re-read any sentences- I’m just going to go. 

I love pizza.  I mean, I really love pizza.  It might be unhealthy how much I love pizza in fact.  I like pizza so much, I like it when  you put taco toppings on pizza.  I also like it when it’s barbeque pizza, Hawaiian pizza, and breakfast pizza.  I would honestly eat pizza every day if I could.  I like deep dish, thin crust, and regular pizza.  I like pizza dough from the store.  I like it from pizza shops.  And I like most homemade pizza doughs.  I love me some pizza.

Next topic.  Um… man, I’m catching myself thinking about pizza when I’m trying to push myself to think about something else.  Oh I got it!

Isn’t it funny how the stories in our lives that are told and re-told time and time again hardly begin with, “So we told ourselves before we set out to do this thing that this would be something that we were going to talk about for the rest of our lives.. . and it is!”  No, the craziest stuff happens to us when we weren’t planning on it happening.

For example.  I accidentally raspberried a complete stranger in the small of his sweaty back going up the Summit Plummet at Blizzard Beach in Disney World.  I have told that story over and over and over again.  And I’ll tell you what, I did NOT press my lips against that stranger’s epidermis thinking, “Man, this might be the most embarrassing and funny story I will ever tell and I will tell it so many times.”  Nope, I simply was bored, I thought the stranger in front of me was one of my good buddies, and low and behold, a story was born of great joy!  Crazy.

Alright, that didn’t really get us anywhere, did it?  Now I’m done with that topic and let’s be honest, I don’t think it shed any real light into our lives.  Move on, shall we?  Okay?  Okay!

Sometimes I will be talking to Mel (my wife) about something and all of the sudden, I’ll ask another question out of the blue and she will ask, “What on earth were you thinking about just now that made you ask that question?!?”  And I’ll answer there’s a very logical explanation.  You know what, this would make more sense if I gave an example.

Mel:  Hi Andy!  Man, I love you.  How was your day?

Andy:  My day was great!  How was your day?

Mel:  It was good.  We have parent teacher conferences so I have to go back tonight.

Andy:  Hey, what’s the next place you think we should visit?

Mel:  What on earth were you thinking about just now that made you ask that question?!?

Andy: Well, there’s a very logical explanation.  You said that you had parent teacher conferences and then I thought about that one parent you told me about that one time that sort of hit on you and that made me feel kind of frustrated even though it happened like 5 years ago and then I got really frustrated because not only were you frustrated at the time, but I don't like the idea of other dudes hitting on you.  And then I thought to myself “Andy, why are you so frustrated with something that happened so long ago?” And then I realized that I needed to relax and naturally I came to the conclusion that the best way we both like to relax is by traveling so I figured we’ve been to Spain, London, Ireland and Toronto so I thought, “Man, where should we go next?” Hence why I asked you where you wanted to travel next.  DUUUUUHHHHH

That happens a lot more than I’d like to admit.  My brain is like the Dallas Superhighway System in that there’s a lot of ways to get to the same place but sometimes I decide to take the scenic route, other times, I like to go other places before I hit my destination, and sometimes, I like to go the fastest way there.

This blog post seems like I’m taking the scenic route.

Okay, I’ve rambled long enough.  Let’s talk about the last topic that jumps to my head.

Right, got it.  I hate technology.

It’s true.  I hate technology.  I’m still baffled by the fact that I can have dual monitors.  How my mouse can go from one screen to another screen is MIND NUMBING.  I mean come on, it’s nuts.  But for most people in the world, technology is the coolest thing out there and without it, their every day activites are cut down by 75%.  Modern day technology is killing me ever so slowly.  And you can play the card of “Well this world is becoming so much more connected” or “We are finding faster, more efficient ways of doing everything!” or “Technology gives the smallest person a voice!”  Well guess what, people aren’t using modern day technology for those reasons- at least not the majority of people.  They’re using technology to check their email during a concert.  They’re using it to critique/bash/rip to shreds something or someone they know little to nothing about- and they're doing so very effectively.  They’re telling the world via status message that they're either a.) showering b.) they hate the government or c.) that their world is the worst ever and no one will ever understand unless they use these song lyrics.   I’ve even seen status messages with the combination of those things.  It looks something like this:

“Oh man.  Taking a shower after the Republican party took another dump all over FOX news.  Well, you know what they say “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you might find, YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!”

Keep it to yourself folks.  My advice?  Go back to being impressed with the fact that you can type in any word whatsoever onto a lit-up screen and thousands upon thousands of things that relate to that one word appears.  I think we should all just sit and be mesmerized by the concept of Google for a little bit.  I know I sure am.

Alright, well that was a little cranky towards the end.  I apologize for that.  I knew I’d find something that would make my fingers type super, super fast.  I know I said I’d end with that technology thing but I really don't want to end on a low note.  So I’d like to end with a picture I randomly drew on Paint.  I’m going to do that for hopefully no longer than 5 minutes and then I’ll come back and explain it. 

This of course is a picture of me at the Disney World accidentally raspberring (or zerbert-ing) a stranger.  My friend John (who I thought was going to be the recipient of my boredom-induced decision) was in front of the stranger and Gabe and Jonathan were behind me- very confused and mystified that I did what I did.  Oh, and there's a pizza slice at the bottom of the stairs.  Because I love pizza.

Okay, that's all for now.

Take care folks.