Don't Move On Too Quickly

COVID-19 is terrifying.

We're living during a time that most people on the planet have never experienced before. A worldwide pandemic is sweeping every man, woman, and child - every religion, sexual orientation, and class. For the first time in as long as most of us can remember, we're all realizing how equal we really are.

For these past two or so weeks, it seems that Christians are leaning into these messages: "God is our refuge." "God will grant us Peace." "This too shall pass." "Trust in the LORD." "Be still and know that I am God." "Lean not on your own understanding."

You've heard this too, yes? The Bible is full of these messages. And they seem more applicable now that ever for many of us. It's mentioned in the Bible something like 365 times that we should not fear. That God has this. "Have I not commanded you be strong and courageous, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you will go" - Joshua 1:9.

While some Christians are really leaning into the "Thou shalt not fear" aspect of COVID, others are leaning into their trust in God. Or more specifically, that God won't test us beyond what we can handle. This is referencing Paul when he writes in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that God is faithful - that he won't let us be tempted beyond what we can bear. So regardless of how bad COVID gets, God is bigger. And God isn't going to test us beyond our breaking point.

And yet, it seems that more Christians need to be careful about our confidence. Or maybe better put: perhaps we ought to be leaning into the severity of this moment a bit more. As Paul continues his letter to the Corinthians, he warns them against celebrating the risen Christ and, more specifically, moving on too quickly from the death of Jesus. The point being: the Hope we have in Jesus should not be taken for granted. The assuredness of a resurrection exists because of hindsight. And so while it's important to look towards God as our refuge and strength, and it's important to remember that He warns us against fear, there is also something incredibly valuable to sitting in the darkness. Apparently, when we allow the gravity of these low moments to affect us, something else occurs in us. In other words, we need to be careful to not move on too quickly from the hurt that we're in. Because if we do, we may miss something that God has for us there as well.

When Abraham took Isaac up to the mountain after God told him to sacrifice his son, the story goes that Abraham gave him the wood and Abraham took the fire and the knife. Some scholars suggest that Abraham didn't want Isaac to carry the dangerous materials of the sacrifice - that Abraham didn't want Isaac's mind to wander into fear. Abraham wanted to be sure that Isaac didn't have to carry what would eventually overtake him. And while the story ends with God stopping the child sacrifice from happening, the journey up the mountain is where we find the real value of this story. It's there we find the intensity and the weight and Abraham's faith and his sorrow. If we move onto God's saving of Isaac before we wrestle with the journey up the mountain, we miss the point of the story altogether.

May we trust in God to be our strength. May we not choose fear in this moment. May we hope that this current moment will pass quickly while we hold onto faith that it eventually will. But may we also choose to sit in this moment and allow the gravity of it to weigh on us. And may we let it truly, deeply affect us.

Grace and Peace.

I'm 30.

It's been a long time since I've written here.  In fact, the last time I posted something was January of 2013.  Since then, I've started a new job (and been here for 3.75 years), I've had two kids, and my wife is currently incubating the third.  I'm still on a local improv team here and it's more successful than I thought it would be.  And I enjoy it for different reasons than I thought I would.  I still overthink everything and don't think about certain things enough.  I often times feel insecure about not living a more purposeful life and I'm almost always concerned that I'm letting most everyone down.  I always find time and people to fill my life and I am most fulfilled when I'm enjoying experieinces with my wife, kids, and friends (in the order).  I internally fight the battle of feeling like I have so much to offer and nothing to add.  I dream about who I could be, who I can't be, and who I could have been.  I contantly pick up tid bits throughout my day that I pray they will make profound impacts on how I act.  And I contstantly forget where I put my wallet.  I envy everyone.  And am thankful for who I am and what I have.  Being a farmer, living off the land, owning 10 acres, and growing my own food is incredibly attractive to me.  Being a CEO, making more money than I know what to do with, managing a group of people, and being surrounded by noise is incredbly attractive to me.  I'm afraid that I will never be satisfied and I am grateful that I always want more.  I think I carry my stress in my teeth and my stomach is bigger than I want it to be - but I'm afraid to admit that because I'm not overweight.  I've made incredible friends thoughout my 30 years.  They are the people I want to be like.  And they are the people I wish I had more time for.  I constantly wonder who I'm not meeting for breakfast or lunch and want to grab a drink with everyone.  I am fully aware that I absolutely need Jesus and it depresses me that I don't tell him that enough.  I worry about the future, wonder about my past, live in the present, and feel like I need to spend more time everywhere I go.  I think I am more intentional than anyone thinks I am and am okay with being the scapegoat if that means other people will have a good time.  I wish I was invited more places and I wish I knew how to sit in silence better.  I think I'm destined for something bigger than myself.  And I think that's true for everyone.  And I wish I leaned into that more often and encouraged others to do the same.

I'm a mess.  But I'm constantly cleaning up after myself.  I'm 30.

Saying "Yes, And" and Why You Shouldn't

I recently watched a great movie called Liberal Arts.  If you haven’t seen it, watch it right now.   Whatever I have to say here can wait.  If you have seen it, keep reading.  In the beginning scenes, we meet Zibby, a sophomore in college who is older in her heart and mind than she is in years.  We quickly learn that she’s in love with learning and she’s in love with the school’s improv team.  And she says she loves improv so much because of the “yes-and” philosophy that’s promoted.  “There are no bad ideas” she says.  “You always have to say yes.”

The concept that she’s talking about it is what many call the first rule of improv.  The idea is simple.  Accept everything people give you and add to it.  It’s used so that scenes keep moving.  So there’s no dead space.  Always be flexible and adaptable enough so you can take whatever the scene gives you and add more to it.

The “yes-and” philosophy is very popular these days.  Zibby is not the first character in a movie that’s talked about it.  Nor is she the first person to gush over how beautiful of a philosophy it is to instill in everyday life.  Tina Fey talks about it in Bossy Pants.  Colleges (such as Calvin College) has made it its tagline in promotional materials.  I can recall at least 5 speakers who have mentioned it. The Yes-And philosophy is on a rampage.  There is one major problem with it though.  Improvisers who only say “Yes, and” tend to be bad improvisers.   And more importantly, people who only say “Yes, and” tend to be pretty bad people.

Let me first start with the improv world because I know more about that world than I do the real life world.  When someone starts learning improv, they are taught to always say “Yes, and...”  And they’re taught this because improv is really hard.  It’s something that requires a lot of thinking and a lot of really fast thinking.  For this reason, even good improvisers are sometimes really bad improvisers.  But when people are starting out, the goal is to make it as easy as possible for them.  So if you can enter a scene with the mentality that all you’re going to do is agree or accept whatever is thrown your way, there’s a whole side of your brain that you’re able to turn off.  There are no wrong answers.  All you have to do is add to whatever’s given you. 

You can probably already see the major issue with this.  Applying this philosophy to real life is essentially saying bad ideas don’t exist.  And that’s just silly.  There are a lot of bad ideas.  And quite frankly, there are a lot of really bad ideas in improv as well.  That’s why when improvisers have been doing improv long enough, they stop listening to just one side of their brain and allow both sides to function.  Doing this well makes for great improv.  Characters start to have depth.  They start to have desires and wants.  Conflict arises and then demands resolution.  Scenes become really interesting to watch because there are struggles and goals and sometimes confusion.  And the best improvisers can keep all of this information in the forefront of their minds whilst simultaneously moving other plot points.  It’s like Beethoven but funny.

Now before moving on, it’s important to note that when I say improvisers should use both sides of their brain, that doesn’t give consent to just deny other people’s ideas.  Instead, they need to learn how to say “No, because…”  This point is very significant.  Saying “no” without a reason is stubbornness.  And stubbornness is hard to work with- both in improv and real life.  But saying “No, because” keeps the scene moving.  It keeps ideas flowing.  And good improv is all about movement.  Each scene should ebb and flow.  And those ebbs and flows should be unpredictable.  Saying “Yes, and…” doesn't necessarily mean the scene will be predictable.  But it most often time means that the scene will be random and not rooted in something deeper.  Allowing your character to say “no, because…” allows him or her to have morals, values, wants, desires, internal struggles, doubt, conflict, standards, whatever.  It gives the character an opportunity to be true to him or herself.  And it forces them to have reasoning behind their actions and thoughts.  It creates accountability. 

This is all why the “Yes, and…” philosophy is a dangerous one.  I know there’s a better analogy than this but when I imagine applying this concept to real life, I think back to sex-ed in Junior High.  The speaker that day, God bless him, held up a stick figure.   That stick figure, he said, just had sex with another stick figure.  And each of those stick figures apparently had relations with other stick figures.  And those stick figures, well they got it on with other stick figures, and so on.  Eventually, the point was made that because many of the stick figures shared the same stick figure partners and one of those stick figures had an STD (along with some “six degrees of Kevin Bacon” logic), every stick figure now had gonorrhea.  I look at that scenario and think it's a shame those stick figures kept saying “Yes, and.”  Had one of them said “No, because,” who knows how many stick figures would have been saved from the clap.   Again, I know there’s a better example but you know what I’m getting at. 

Okay, if there is a better way to say it, maybe it’s this:  I want to be a person who has the right intentions of saying “Yes, and…” and “No, because…”  I want to be a person of affirmation and encouragement.  I want to be a person who can be flexible and adaptable when life throws me the ever proverbial curve ball.  But I also want to be a person of standards.  I want to someone who stands up for their morals and values and has good reasoning behind them.  I want to be someone who can not only say “No” to people, but can also give a sound reason why.

Don’t get me wrong, saying “Yes, and…” is a great concept.  And although you wouldn’t guess it, I’m a huge advocate for it.  But it’s only great if you don’t have a greater “No, because.”  Saying yes when you should say no is the cause to a lot of people’s problems- and not just in regards to STDs. 

May we all learn how to use both “Yes, and..” and “No, because…” better this year. 

…and may we all especially say “No, because…” to stick figures we’re not married to.  

An Indecisive Generation

Go for it  vs. Stick with the sure thing

Embrace your Strengths and follow those vs. Strengthen your weaknesses and become more broadly marketable

Be who you are and potentially define your audience vs. Find an audience and see where you can potentially fit

Step out and trust vs. Stay in and feel secure

What’s funny about my generation is that we’re known as free spirits.  People think we want to live in community but that we also believe we have the ability to carve our own way.  That we can multi-task and that we believe we’re better off when we do.  That we believe we’re ready to take on the world.  That we believe we will be successful.  That we believe we’re talented enough.  That we believe we’re really good at what we do.

I’m not sure I buy that.  There’s definitely more to the story, at least.  In many ways, I think we’re pretty insecure.  I’m not sure if it’s because some of our most formative years came during a thriving economy- one where technology was booming, every product, process and production was becoming faster and smarter, and one that the next best thing was not only expected, but it came.  We were given a lot during a time when there was a lot to give.  But now there’s less.  And somehow the reputation that my generation received is being juxtaposed with the times that we are in.

We have a reputation for being brave and daring (and spoiled) but we’re living in a time when security is not a sure thing.  Failure is a bigger deal than it was before.  And now we’re fighting our subconscious with our conscious.  Our confidence is trying to coincide with reality.

I know I’m trying to make sense of it all.

I grew up believing (and being told to some extent) that you can do what you put your mind to.  That if you really believe in something, you can accomplish it.  That taking a risk is generally a good thing.  That stepping out on the ledge of possibility will land you in the world of actuality.

But my reality shows me something different.  Some of the best teachers I know are not finding teaching positions.  My engineering friends are encouraged to not be creative because the budget won’t allow it.  There are others who are doing their best to break into a new world of employment but there simply is no room for them at the inn. 

So we’re running into this wall and we have a few options to believe.  1.) We were lied to.  The world is tougher than we were told and we have to play by someone else’s rules.  2.) We were naïve.  We were actually never told this world was easy and while we were ignoring that advice, we somehow also got cocky.  Or 3.) Life is tough but we can’t give up.  Because the truth is, both the first and second options are true to some extent.  Some of us were lied to and a lot of us were misled- whether on purpose or by accident.  Some of us became cocky and a lot of us were naïve.   And now we’re trying to make sense of it all. 

We’re trying to figure out what direction to go.  For some, they’re trying to remain steadfast in their determination to succeed but they’re being told “no” a lot more than they expected.  There’s not much room to move and we’re a pretty antsy people.  So our questions have turned from “What will I choose to be when I grow up?” to “What can I be when I grow up?”  People are now leaving dreams and aspirations and learning to make the best out of our situations.

But somewhere within it all, we also believe that giving up now will hurt way more in the future than it will now. 

We all know the stories of the social activists and the inventors and the athletes that could have given up but didn’t.  And for that reason, I won’t Wikipedia them and namedrop.  But what I’m finding is that while those people are inspirational to us, our current place in history still has us believing two different stories.

1.       We should find the safe job and work there.  We should live our comfortable lives because it’s just smarter in the long run.  We should just do what we’re told.  We can exercise our creativity and strengths where we can but following the rules is first priority.  Let’s just do our best to find a drivable road and hope that it leads to somewhere safe and gratifying. 

or

2.       We should dig our heels in and live up to our generation’s reputation.  We should try to generate our own self-gratification by following our hearts.  We need to believe in ourselves and our abilities because we’re living in a time that needs dreamers and entrepreneurs and idealists and self-made men and women now more than ever.  Let’s make our own roads and follow those.

The truth is, both options are okay.  Both have their merit.  Neither is better than the other.  You can play it safe and still be true to yourself.  And you can dream big without the fear of being homeless.  And that’s what makes it really hard.  Depending on the day, we say one of the two things- that playing life safe is either the coward’s way out or that it’s responsible.  On the other side, we tell ourselves that taking the risk is either foolish or our future self’s biggest regret should we not try it.  It could be our chance to do what we love and be in love with what we do. 

So we get stuck in these one side vs. the other side scenarios. 

Go for it  vs. Stick with the sure thing

Embrace your Strengths and follow those vs. Strengthen your weaknesses and become more broadly marketable

Be who you are and potentially define your audience vs. Find an audience and see where you can potentially fit

Step out and trust vs. Stay in and feel secure

This is my current battle.  And I’m finding that when both options are okay, it’s actually harder to choose.  Weigh in.  I’m interested in what you have to say.

Lent

I typically have a hard time with Lent.  I’ve never understood how giving up chocolate will make my heart more in tune with God’s.  Now, before that statement is not taken as semi-satirical, let me just say: that statement is semi-satirical.  What I’m really trying to say is something that many people have said.  The time of Lent has the potential for being an incredible, powerful 40 days and instead, we so often times minimize it to routines and practices that will help us lose weight or quit an unhealthy habit.

Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself.  This has the beginnings of a rant and it’s not that.  Let me start over.

I’m originally from Boardman, OH (talk about smooth transitions between paragraphs).  Boardman is a township of Youngstown, OH.  In Youngstown, most people there can trace their lineage back to Italy.  Aka- there are a lot of last names ending in vowels.   With these wonderful Italian people, there are also a lot of Catholic churches (and incredible pizza chains).  Now that you have this background, insert a young Andy Allen- a young, naïve Andy Allen- a young, naïve Andy Allen that doesn’t really understand culture, or history, or denominations outside of his own.  When I was in seventh grade, I played for the Boardman Center Middle School Spartans’ basketball team.  I was a bit chubby and averaged 4.3 points a game (both “chubby” and “4.3 points a game” are generous descriptions).  One day, after practice, Mr. Serenko was walking through the halls to pick up his daughter and I noticed that he had a grey smudge on his forehead.  Being a far too confident, yet well-intentioned seventh grader, I tapped him on the shoulder and told him that he had some dirt on his face.  He looked down at me and replied, “Andy, it’s Ash Wednesday.”  I looked back up at him and replied, “Oh, okay… You still have dirt on your forehead.”

Needless to say, I didn’t know what Ash Wednesday was or what it meant.  All I knew/thought was that every year, a lot of my friends would dirty-up their foreheads and on Fridays, they wouldn’t eat any of the delicious, meaty pizza and instead, they’d just eat fish.  As I grew up, my friends started to abstain from more during Lent.  Certain foods were off limits.  My smoker friends didn’t smoke any more.  People didn’t go on AIM or AOL anymore and instead wrote clever away messages.  It was during this time that I can remember thinking, “Wait, what? ….why are they doing that?”  Now, I was a well-churched young man.  I went every Sunday, in fact.  I even knew about Jesus being tempted in the desert while fasting for 40 days.  And yet, I didn’t have the mental capacity to connect Jesus’ time in the desert to what my friends were doing.  So naturally (and ignorantly), I questioned everyone that said they were giving up chocolate because of Jesus. 

For my entire high school career and even into my college years, I resented that people participated in Lent.  I was positive that Jesus never told us to give anything up for 40 days, that Lent was really a poorly disguised weight loss plan/self-guided intervention, and I didn’t see anyone’s life “spiritually transformed” after Easter (nor did I see anyone give up smoking).  All I saw and believed Lent to be was a sham. 

All of this to say, for the longest time I bashed Lent because I felt like people were doing it for all of the wrong reasons.  In fact, I mastered the snarky response, “I am under the impression that Jesus would only want us to participate in Lent if the main intention is to draw our relationship closer to God.  I don’t think that we can equate ‘fasting for 40 days and intensely praying to God in the desert while being tempted by Satan’ to ‘not going on facebook.’”  I told you it was snarky.   And unfortunately, unlike what I said in the beginning of this post, I never meant to be satirical when I responded like that.  I somehow felt like that response would change the ways of my blind and ignorant pagan-worshipping friends (make sure to read that last sentence in a super-dramatic voice).

Okay- The sad truth of all this is two-fold. 

First, I still believe my snarky response to be true.  However, a good rule to live by is never start a sentence with “I am under the impression that…”  It makes you sound like a jerk.  Regardless, I don’t believe that Jesus necessarily wants us to sacrifice something that we “really like” for 40 days because it’s a good exercise.  Lent is about giving up something in our lives so that we can grow closer to God.  It’s about re-examining how we live, what we do, and the things that consume our time and energy- and instead focus all of those things on God.  When Jesus went into the desert, he wasn’t looking to just clear his head.  He was giving up everything that he did on a daily basis, even teaching his followers, and instead spent all of his time with his Father.  I’ve come to understand that it’s okay to give up chocolate and smoking and facebook and fast food and coffee and television and whatever else we do- providing that we use the money and the time and the energy that we normally give to those things and instead, give them to God.  Lent is a fantastic, wonderful, pursuit after God that requires sacrificing something- be it time, food,  entertainment or even people- and then it’s the focused attention on listening and speaking with your Father.  We screw it up by deciding to go into the desert and then forgetting to pray.

The second sad truth is this- I have never participated in Lent.  Not once.  I haven’t even tried and failed.  I’ve always been so bitter and stubborn towards Lent that I have even used my unwillingness to participate as a form of protest.  So what’s sad, is that I have all of these past ill-feelings towards Lent and oddly enough, I’ve even had this recent understanding of what Lent is supposed to be and how beautiful its design actually is- and I’ve never experienced it.   And because there’s no greater Metaphor, it’s the closest I’ve ever been to being the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. 

So.  With all of this said.  This year I am going to participate in Lent for the first time.  I am going to follow the 40 day Experiential Calendar that Mars Hill set up.  I’m not going to give up a habit or beer or comfort food.  I’m not going to give up technology or worrying or certain people in my life.  I’m just going to follow the calendar (that can be found at this link: http://marshill.org/teaching/files/2012/02/LentCal2012.pdf ) and I’m going to see where it takes me. 

So in all honesty, I know very, very little about Lent.  In fact, I probably know the least out of every person that has ever commented on the subject.  But what I think I know is this: it’s possible to commit to something for the 40 days and never truly experience or even participate in what Lent is really about.  My hope is that these next 40 days are of great significance to me. 

Here it goes.

Thoughts on Improv

I’m not a very artsy person.  I don’t often speak dramatically unless I’m doing it for effect.  I most often am very direct and to the point.  I answer emails within 30 minutes typically.  I’ve been known to not “sugar coat” much and that sometimes has gotten me in trouble.  I don’t usually reminisce and if I do, it’s almost never in a fantastical fashion. 

This is going to be a little different.  Recently I’ve had a resurgence for my “love of improv.”  So much so that it has even encouraged me to write my thoughts down and share them on the “Information Super Highway” known as the internet.  If this gets to be too much, I apologize.  If it doesn’t get to be too much, I really hope it helps convey to you why I love improv so much.

*Please note that a lot of these thoughts aren’t new.  Nor do I pretend to be an expert on the topic of improv.  These thoughts are simply what have been running through my head as of late.

In 2005, I tried out for the improv team at Calvin College.  I didn’t have a real reason to other than the fact that I saw some of my soon-to-be peers do improv for the first time during freshmen orientation.  I was fascinated and intrigued- but mostly I thought that I needed to do that.  I had no idea what it was about, if there was structure to it, or if it was just a bunch of people trying to be funny- but I knew I wanted more of it.  So a couple months later when school started, I tried out… and didn’t make it.  To be honest, I wasn’t too crushed.  Not being accepted isn’t ever a great feeling but as I was being cut from improv, I gained the lead role in Shakespeare’s As You Like It and at that moment in my life, theater was my major.  So I figured the better of the two options won out. 

Months passed, the play I was in came and went, I dropped my theater major, and life continued.  Let’s fast forward to March or April, I can’t remember which one, but one of those months was when second tryouts to the improv team came.  Usually that didn’t happen but this year, there were an uncharacteristically large number of seniors graduating so they needed some young blood.  Surprisingly, I was asked to try out.  So I did.  And I got on the team.  Little did I know, that one night would change so many things in my life for the better.

It’s been 6 years now- which is really not that long at all- but since that March or April night, my life mantra has changed in ways that I had no idea it even could.  I won’t go into the details of improvisational comedy because most people have heard of the concept of “Yes-And” and the basics of how improv really are fundamental in succeeding in your life.  If you haven’t, pick up Tina Fey’s book, “Bossy Pants,” read it, put it back down, and then continue reading here.  What I will go into is the biggest basics of improv because that’s what I want to focus on.

Improv at its simplest form is story-telling, and sometimes joke-telling, by a team of people that generate their ideas from suggestions from the audience.  That’s it.  And it’s beautiful.  Because that means that the thousands of hours that I have spent in improv practice or on an improv stage in front of an audience mean absolutely nothing when you speak of any of those experiences without the other components.  In other words, the laughter, the memories, the stories that we contrived or the jokes that we told, were all impossible without the team of improvisers AND the audience.  One of the biggest travesties I’ve found in the improv world is when people say “X was so funny that night” and then X accepts the compliment and bathes in it.  The truth of why X was so funny is almost always because of the team and because of the audience.  Yes, X delivered the line.  And yes, X is incredibly funny and potentially, the most talented.  But the truth is, without the team or the audience’s suggestion, X is nothing.  And this is why improv is so much like real life.  Very rarely is anyone successful, triumphant, or even talented without the help of a supporting cast or an audience to receive feedback from.

Now I’ll stop there because I don’t want to make this about how improv has the most metaphors for real life and how if everyone studied the philosophies of improv, we’d live in a much happier society.  I agree with that, but I don’t have the time to write that right now.  Not to mention the metaphors are going to be so easily made that I won’t have to spell them out for you.  What I do have the time for is to write about improv, and why it has changed my life. 

Recently, I had lunch with a good friend and we spoke about all of the different improv teams we’ve been on.  For the record, I’ve been on two.  He’s been on like 7.  Moving on, as we talked more and more, he touched on something that really struck me.  He said that he found the greatest joy in his improv career when he knew what his role was on the team and how it complemented the other team members’ roles.  On his team of three, there was the witty one that the audience loved, there was the dumb one that the audience loved for a different reason, and he was the younger brother character (his words) and he too was loved by the audience for, again, completely different reasons.  And most importantly, all three guys knew how to work well with one another, how to set each other up for success, and how to carry on if one of them should fail. 

This too is why improv is beautiful.  It accepts everyone.  Everyone has a place.  And everyone can be loved.  But they will also certainly fail.  And so while it’s important to find your audience, it’s even more important to find the right people on your team.  Because that way, when you fail, your teammate can both save you and then hopefully win the audience back over (I told you the metaphors would scream through this thing).  But knowing that this is the case, this is also why it’s important that no one takes full credit for winning or losing.  Because when it’s your night to win, it’s more vital then than ever to remember that your teammate saved you last night from falling flat on your face.  It’s also why it’s vital to surround yourself with people that have the capability to save you.  Note that having the “capability to save” doesn’t necessarily mean they will succeed 100% of the time.  It simply means that you trust them enough to take risks.  The truth is that everyone has a role to fill and sometimes, your number will be called to take charge, sometimes it’ll be called to support, sometimes it’ll be called to say one line and then leave, and sometimes it’ll be to save- and in each of the roles, the success/fail rate wavers.  But surrounding yourself with the right people makes failure bearable and success even more rewarding.

Okay, I think that’ll be the last touchy-feely thing I’ll write.  The rest of this will probably be just fun.  Because after all, when it’s all said and done, that’s what improv is really all about.  Fun.  Laughter.   And Joy.

While the teamwork, the reliability, the creativity and the philosophies of improv fascinate me most, the joy of improv is what sustains me.  For the past six years, I have found joy in the strangest and most wonderful, made-up scenarios.  These scenarios have included:  The most death-defying Tic-Tac-Toe matches that used real life gnomes instead of X’s and O’s and always ended in Cats games, Tandem Sky-Divers that jumped face to face and decided that it was best to jump on “No” and pull the ripcord on “Don’t”, mothers giving birth simultaneously to two children- one via natural birth and one via C-section, listening to the world’s most cynical war veteran give a five minute monologue on “how it used to be”, having two federal agents live in the same cul-de-sac as elementary students who are competing popsicle vendors and watching the antics that ensue, trying to resolve the relational problems that having a uni-breast can cause, avoid falling in love with the White Witch from “The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe,” coping with those at a therapy session for giving their grandmothers sponge baths, and of course, trying to find a cure to Quad-rabetes  (Diabetes x2).

It’s true that I love improv so much because stories like these can exist and then can be explored.  But it’s more true to say that I love improv so much because of the laughter and joy produced by these ridiculously strange stories.  We live in a world where more and more people are becoming less and less happy.  Improv, for me, is a cure.  It’s a cure because it helps remove people from where they are in their life and temporarily allows them to live and laugh in the stories that are based off their suggestions. 

Recently, I watched a movie called “Happy.”  It’s a movie based off of the new academic trend called Positive Psychology.  In this movie, there’s a part that says we are often taught two things:  that money will buy us happiness and that money can’t buy us happiness.  It goes on to say that both are somewhat true; just ask the homeless man living under the bridge and then ask Bill Gates.  The homeless man wishes he had more money to feel secure and thus feel happier.  Bill Gates will say having all the money in the world hasn’t brought him happiness at all.  The real truth, however, is that while happiness is predicated on some things, it’s mostly a choice.  It’s something that we can all choose to have.  And for me, every time I do improv, I’m choosing happiness.  I’m choosing a role and learning how to work well in it.  I’m choosing to surround myself with people who I love and trust.  I’m choosing to create something new (and potentially abnormal) based off of other people’s ideas.  And I’m hopeful that amidst all of these choices, I can help bring others into happiness as well.  

Giants vs. Patriots

Surprising to some, mostly to me, I’ve been asked by a few folks when my Super Bowl prediction (aka: prophesy) is going to come out.  Well, wait no longer because the moment has finally arrived and just in time for the game.  If you’re a betting person, please thank me later when you’re “Scrooge McDuck-ing” into your bank full of gold coins.

It’s not going to be close folks.  The Giants are going to dominate this game.  I’m sorry, but it’s true.  People are expecting a lot out of the Patriots but they’re not going to win this one.  Before we get into the meat and potatoes of why, let’s just look at how the Patriots got here.  They had a cake schedule all year- they beat Miami, then San Diego (when they were awwwful), then Oakland (bad team), then the Jets, then beat a decent Dallas team, then the Jets again, then Kansas City, then a Philadelphia team when Vince Young was quarterbacking, then Indianapolis, then Washington, then Denver, then Miami and then Buffalo to finish it off.  Wow.  The only teams they lost to was Pittsburgh and (drum roll) an injured Giants team- AT HOME!  Come on folks.  They haven’t proved anything yet.  Not to mention, they haven’t played a single game indoors yet this season.  The Giants were too fast for them in Foxborough.  They’re going to be way too fast for them in Lucas Oil Stadium.

But Andy!  What about the Patriots playoff schedule?  I’m glad you asked.  They beat a bad Broncos team and then they beat a Ravens team that they should have lost to had the Ravens learned how to catch, scratch that, hold onto game winning touchdowns.  While Tom Brady is ridiculously good, he was getting handled by a Ravens defense that is statistically playing worse than the Giants are. 

Your rebuttal now is probably that all it takes is one game.  One Sunday and everything can change.  Sure.  You’re right.  But in the biggest game of the year, the teams usually come to play.  They’re rested.  They’re prepared.  And with exception to when the Steelers played the Seahawks, both teams are usually going to play a solid game (note: neither the Steelers or the Seahawks did well that year). 

Look, a quick comparison in schedules and then we’ll move on.  The Giants lost to the Redskins, the Seahawks, San Francisco, Philadelphia, New Orleans, Green Bay and Washington again.  However, they beat St. Louis, Philly, Arizona, Buffalo, Miami,  Dallas, the Jets, Dallas again, AND THE PATRIOTS.  They’re schedule was just a tad tougher and the most important part about all of this who they played and beat in the playoffs.  They first beat Atlanta- okay, not a huge win but it was important because it was on the road (indoors).  Then they beat a Packers team they lost to previously.  They beat a Niners team they previously lost to.  No one on their team is hurt.  They know how to beat the Patriots.  And they’re going to do it again.

Okay, if the above didn’t convince you yet, I’ll just throw a couple more things out there.  We’ll start with the post season stats because a lot of who wins in the NFL is about momentum.  So you might be surprised that both teams’ defense have played pretty similarly.  The Patriots are giving up 130 yards on the ground and 195 in the air.  The Giants are giving up 120 yards on the ground and 200 in the air.  Both teams have only gotten one interception and the Giants have forced 5 fumbles in comparison to the Patriots 3.  But just like anything, reading this with no context takes away the significance.  While the two teams are comparable statistically, the Giants played against Matt Ryan (indoors), Aaron Rogers (at Lambeau) and well, Alex Smith- so that’s not that big of a deal really.  The Patriots on the other hand played against Tebow and Flacco.  Need I say more? 

Moving quickly to the regular season.  The Patriots gave up nearly 300 yards passing a game and the Giants gave up 250.  The Patriots gave up about 117 yards rushing per game vs. the Giants 120.  The Patriots picked off opponents 23 times while the Giants did it 20 times.  And the Patriots force 10 fumbles whereas the Giants forced 13.  These stats again are pretty comparable although they favor the Giants slightly more.  But once again, out of context, the significance gets diminished.  Remember those stats and then look back at who the Giants played: the Cowboys, San Francisco, New Orleans, Green Bay and the Patriots just to name a few.  New England, on the hand, played the Giants and the Cowboys…. Yup.  The defensive stats look less comparable now, yes?  Yes.

But let’s be honest with ourselves.  We’re expecting an offensive onslaught on Sunday, right?  I know I am.  The defensive stats mean little because both offenses will score.  The question is how much.  Now for the postseason, the Patriots do indeed have the statistical advantage in points, passing, and rushing.  However, that’s deceiving because they Pats put up 45 against the Broncos with 363 yards throwing and 146 yards rushing.  Basically, the Patriots stats are as high as they are because they played a bad Broncos team (that just so happened to beat the Steelers… I know).  And again, the Giants played three games on the road.

In the regular season, the Patriots scored 32 points per game vs. the Giants 24.  Brady threw for 317 a game vs. Manning threw 295.  New England ran for about 110 a game vs. the Giants 90.  Everything is in the Patriots favor.  That’s because they have a really good offense.  It’s also because they played terrible defenses.  In fact, the only good defense they played were the Steelers and the Ravens and they lost to one of those team and should have lost to the other!  Come on folks, the Patriots are clearly very good offensively, but they’re not enough better than the Giants to avoid getting smushed by them. 

Listen- forget all the stats.  Let’s talk about common sense.  The Patriots are a solid team but they’re missing Gronkowski, Coughlin will have an answer for Hernandez, Welker will probably hurt his knee on the turf, Manning is playing out of his mind, the Giants defense are meaner and seem to just need motivation to play well (which they’ll have this Sunday), the running backs for the Giants are much better and stronger than each person on the Patriots defense (except Wilfork), and the Patriots will probably get caught filming the Giants’ practice before Sunday even gets here. 

Folks!   The score will be 38 to 24.  Take it to the bank.  The game will be over by half time.

Playoff Time

So it’s playoff time.  This time last year, I wrote a couple of entries that, for the most part, accurately predicted the outcomes of the Steeler games in the playoffs.  This year will be different.  Not because I don’t have the power to accurately predict the playoff games.  I do.  It’s because the Steelers unfortunately won’t make it to the Super Bowl this year and I’m going to pick them to probably win every single game.  However, they will only win if a couple of things fall their way.

This will be a short post with a lot of information in it so stick with me.

First, the Texans need to win.  I don’t think they will but if the Steelers are going to have a chance, the Houston team will need to win their first playoff game ever.  This will come into play later.  For the Steelers this week, they will need to blow out the Broncos.  As in, Roethlisberger will have to score two to three touchdowns, the defense will have to force a couple of turnovers, and the Broncos can’t put up more than 3 points on the board- all in the first half.  If they do this, which I think they can, the Steelers will have to put Batch in for the second half and sit Roethlisberger to give him rest.  I know this sounds crazy because you don’t necessarily want to give a cold quarterback a lead because he might squander it, but rest for Roethlisberger is uber important these playoffs.  The Steelers will win 24-10 and we’ll move onto the second round. 

Second, The Steelers will play the Patriots and the Texans will play the Ravens.  I know it doesn't sound like it matters but I think this is how it needs to go.  If we play the Ravens in the second round, no one is going to be healthy enough to hold up against them.  Roethlisberger will definitely get hit, his ankle will get pulled on by the Ravens, and we would probably lose that game.  Instead, Roethlisberger needs to play against a team that can’t get to him so he can rest again.  We can beat the Patriots but in order to do so, Ryan Clark, who will be healthy, will need to step his game up, Woodley will have to be feeling good, and Harrison and Polamalu will have to be in full form as well.  Steelers will go into Foxborough and win against the Patriots.

Third, while the hope is that the Ravens will lose to the Texans, I don’t think that’ll happen.  However, at this point in the year, the Steelers will have just had a full week of rest and will be ready to play a very familiar team.  That is the best thing you can hope for going against a tough and brutal team like the Ravens.  Hopefully Roethlisberger will be feeling his best, Pouncey will be back by that point, the defense will be solid, and a cocky Joe Flacco will lose the AFC Championship again. 

If any of the above is off, my whole prediction is wrong.  If any of the above is incorrect, including health of the players, I believe that the Steelers will lose in the second round.  This is not pessimism.  It’s unfortunately realism for me.  It’s been a great year being a Steeler fan.  And I hope I’m wrong about my theories.  But you have to be healthy going into the playoffs- and we’re not this year.

If the Steelers go on to play in the Super Bowl, they’ll do so against the Saints or the Giants (note: not the Packers this year) and they’ll either beat the Giants or lose to the Saints.  

Mark Chapter 2

In Mark chapter 2, there’s a story of how Jesus went back to his home town of Capernaum and started to teach to a group of people inside someone’s home.  Apparently, the news spread quickly because not soon after Jesus arrived, the place was beyond packed.  Hearing that Jesus had returned, a group of four men carried a paralyzed man to the house, hoping to see Jesus.  However, there was absolutely no room for them.  So instead, they made their way to the roof of the home, dug a hole, and lowered their friend to where Jesus was teaching.  So impressed by their faith, Jesus looked at the paralytic and told him that his sins were forgiven.  However, as soon as he uttered those words, the scribes in the room began to think that Jesus was blaspheming.  And just as quickly as they thought those words, Jesus responded by first asking a question, then assured them that He was indeed the Son of God, and then proved it by miraculously healing the paralyzed man.  The once crippled man then picked up his mat and walked out the door.  And everyone left amazed. 

I really like this story for a couple of reasons.  And I don't think any of them will be too surprising.  The first one is because I admire the faith of the five men.  While we have zero context of who these men were, we do know that they believed that it was imperative for the paralyzed man to meet Jesus, one way or another.  They don’t let the giant crowd of people or a roof get in their way. 

The second reason is because I like that Jesus read the scribes’ thoughts.  It’s pretty clear that the scribes never claimed that Jesus was blaspheming- all they did was think it.  We love talking about how Jesus hears us when we silently pray to him.  But this story takes that to a whole new level.  Because in this story, Jesus is silently being gossiped about.  And Jesus calls them out- in front of everybody.

And last, I like that Jesus performs a miracle.  He simply tells a man who has had no function in his legs for who knows how long to pick up his mat and walk.  And he does.  Just like that. 

I like this story for a lot of reasons but part of me feels like I’ve somehow missed the main point of it for a lot of years now.  I’ve always thought that this story is an example of how Jesus rewards a man for his and his friends’ great faith.  But after reading and rereading this story, I’ve come to understand that this story isn’t about that at all.  In fact, that doesn’t even really happen.

It’s important to open this up with a little bit of context.  First, the book of Mark, where this story is found, begins with John the Baptist preparing the way of Jesus.  Jesus then goes on to perform miracle after miracle- healing the sick, people possessed with evil spirits, lepers, and a whole host of others.  Now apparently Jesus wanted to keep His miracles quiet and even tells the leper he healed not to say a word to anybody.  But instead, that man went out and told everyone and soon, the word that Jesus was doing things that no one had ever seen spread all over (leprosy joke).  This explains why so many people wanted to see Jesus in Capernaum that day.  It also should be said that during those days, it was believed that your misfortune (i.e. sickness, leprosy, paralysis) was due to your sin.  If you had something wrong, you were the one that caused it. And most importantly, it was believed that only God could forgive you of your sins/misfortunes.  Last, just for posterity’s sake, the scribes that thought Jesus was a blasphemer were protectors, teachers, and scholars of the Law.  I don’t know why, but every time I hear the word scribe, I think of scrawny, borderline malnourished little guys that could never play football.  But these scribes were well respected men who knew exactly what the Law of Moses said, inside and out.

Okay, enough context.  Back to the story.

In verse 5 of Mark chapter 2, after the men lowered their friend through the roof, it reads, “When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, ‘Sons, your sins are forgiven.’”  Notice that at this point in the story, there is no hint or inclination that Jesus was about to heal the man from his paralysis.  Soon after Jesus forgives the man, he’s called (well, thought) a blasphemer by the scribes.  Knowing what’s going on, Jesus turns to the scribes and asks, “Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk?’ but I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.”  In other words, Jesus is asking “What do I need to do to prove to you that I have the authority to forgive this man’s sins?  Is simply saying it not enough?  Or do I have to rid him of his actual paralysis?”  So then He does exactly that.   And just like last time, everyone left amazed.

It seems to me that there are two way larger points to this story other than how the faithfulness of five men led to a miraculous healing.  The first is that Jesus is a bit disappointed that He had to use miracles to prove that He was indeed the son of God.  In fact, if it wasn’t for the scribes’ disbelief, I think there’s a strong potential that Jesus would have never healed the man at all.  It seems like the biggest reason Jesus healed the man was to prove a point.  Healing the man was an afterthought.  It was an exclamation point. It was the only way to communicate what needed to be said- that Jesus had the ability to rid people of their sins.  Or rather, it was the only way to show people that He truly was the Son of God. 

Immediately I’m taken aback by this. Not because I’ve somehow overlooked that part for so long, but because I know that I still sometimes need, or at least badly want a miracle in order for me to believe that Jesus really is in control- that He is who He says He is.  And the miracles I need aren’t even healing from something like paralysis.  Instead, they’re miracles to help me handle the stress in my life, or find some time in my jam packed schedule, or fight off the depression I feel, or to help me not focus on the past or worry about the future.  I sometimes just need Jesus to perform a miracle in my life so I can simply rest in the fact that everything is going to be okay.  But Jesus asks us to just trust Him.  Even when the miracle never comes.

Now, I think whenever somebody talks about “just trusting Jesus in tough situations,” it’s imperative to recognize not only how difficult that is, but that it’s also healthy and right to sometimes just sit and mourn in those moments of despair.  I don’t think we should rush through our emotional process to get to a point of inauthentic assurance. 

However, the second point to this story is even greater than the first.  What struck me was Jesus’ first reaction to the paralytic man and his faith.  He simply forgave him.  He didn’t heal him from his paralysis.  He just forgave him of his sins.  Apparently, the greatest reward that Jesus could have offered the man was not the ability to walk, it was forgiveness.  It was eternal life.  And that went over everybody’s head, including my own.  Because people believed that misfortune was caused by sin, it’s fair to say that they also believed that forgiveness meant the absence of misfortune.  But to Jesus, forgiveness meant something way more than that.  Forgiveness meant a future.  It meant an assurance that regardless of your circumstances now, everything would eventually be okay. 

I think what makes this so hard to grasp is the fact that we have no idea what complete forgiveness or what eternal life looks like.  We can grasp the fact that the healing of a once paralyzed man is amazing and for that reason, we are much quicker to follow Jesus when He chooses to do that.  But Jesus never said, “Follow me and I will perform miracles for you.”  He said, “Follow me and you will be saved.”  In Mark chapter 2, Jesus accomplished what He came to do one third of the way through the story. 

So as I sit here and I face myself, I have to ask myself a couple questions.  What would it look like to live in such a way that I actually rested in the fact that Jesus has already saved me?  What would it look like to not stress out about my busy schedule or get frustrated over difficult relationships or stew over disappointments?  What would it look like to not need miracles to solve my broken heart or anxious spirit or wandering mind?  What would it look like to just rest in the fact that everything I go through has been taken care of before it even began? 

I think that Jesus would want to remind me that no matter what I go through, He’s already saved me from it.

At the end of the story, in Mark 2, verse 12, it reads, “And he stood up, and immediately took the mat and went out before all of them; so that they were all amazed and glorified God, saying, ‘We have never seen anything like this!’”  I would have loved to witness that miracle so I too could have been part of that celebration.  But I’m already good at celebrating the miracles in my life.  I need to learn how stand amazed and full of praise regardless of a miracle happening.  And I think that’s what God wants for us too.

John Chapter 8

One of my favorite stories in the Bible is probably one of many people’s favorites.  It’s found in John chapter 8.  Jesus is found in the temple courts and He is teaching a lesson to those gathered around him.  All of the sudden, the Pharisees bring in a woman who was caught in adultery and they make her stand before the group of people.  The Pharisees tell everyone of the woman’s crime and they ask Jesus what He thinks is the appropriate action.  After writing in the sand for a bit, Jesus gets up and says many’s favorite phrase in the Bible: "Let any one of you who is without sin cast the first stone."  The first stone, that was probably once tightly gripped in a man's hand, drops.  Then a second.  And a third.  And so on.  Eventually, all of the woman's accusers leave and from what we can tell, just Jesus and the woman are left.  Jesus then asks her where all of her accusers have gone and she claims that they've all left.  And so Jesus replies the best line: "Then neither do I condemn you.  Go now and leave your life of sin."

I love that story.  I love that story because it's one of the best examples of grace.  During a time and culture where adultery was handled very seriously, Jesus is able to change the rules by just offering a few words. He doesn't go into all of the politics of what the Law says.  He doesn't try and be fair and say that the woman deserves the same thing that probably many women before her received as punishment.  He doesn't even ask the woman if she's learned anything from all this or if she's had a change of heart.  He simply offers grace.  And He does it in front of the very group of men that wanted him dead.

I also love this story because my mind wanders to all of the context that we don't know.  And there's plenty of it.  First, I wish I knew where the man that she slept with was.  Was he married?  Was he in a garden somewhere with his head in his hands, knowing that this woman was paying the punishment that he deserved as well?  Was he in the temple praying for forgiveness?  Was he at home trying to explain to his wife why he was unfaithful?  Was he in that very crowd with a stone in his hand?  If that's the case, was the woman set up?  That might explain why it's worded that she was "caught in adultery."  Maybe the Pharisees planned the entire thing.

I also want to know what Jesus was teaching in the temple courts right before the Pharisees brought in the woman. My story-telling side wishes that Jesus was talking about how we need to be people of forgiveness.  That we need to be people who love our neighbor, offer grace and kindness, and that we should never get hot-headed.  My ironic side likes to think that Jesus was just teaching something like, "The Pharisees aren't so bad.  They're getting it.  I mean, they're just doing their job.  I bet they come around eventually."  And of course, my comedic side just thinks that Jesus was teaching them how to make shadow puppets or something.

And then there's the question of why Jesus decided to draw in the sand.  In terms of making the story a little more dramatic, He nailed it.  Create a dramatic pause, wait for the crowd to lean in to hear what He has to say, and then deliver the line that people will repeat to their families and friends.  And while there are a lot of theories out there, they're all just merely theories.  So I'll offer mine (Forgive me if I'm copying someone else's.).  I think that the Pharisees made Jesus extremely frustrated.  As in, to the point of almost irate.  So I think He decides to pause, collect his thoughts and not let His actions get the best of Him.  It would be akin to the athlete that makes the mental error that instead of smashing his racket or spiking the ball on the court or breaking the bat over his knee, he pauses and doesn't let his actions get the best of him.  He knows that the Pharisees want him dead.  And He knows that this question puts Him in between a rock and a hard place.  If He claims that stoning is the appropriate action, He’d be adhering to the Law of Moses but denying what He knows is right.  If He claims that forgiveness is the appropriate route, He’s going against the law and giving more ammo to the Pharisees for his inevitable death. And to top it all off, He knows that He has very few days left on this earth.  With all of this combined, I believe Jesus is fuming on the inside.  But instead of losing it, Jesus instead creates the very first Zen Garden, takes a few breaths, collects His thoughts, and gives Himself enough time to answer the Pharisees' leading question- and turn it into a (potentially) whole new lesson for the group of people He was speaking with.

There are a lot of things we don't know about this story.  But what's great about it is that we don't need to know everything.  Because regardless of knowing the little details, the moral comes out loud and clear.  Don't condemn others.  Don't be the guy that is finding specks in people's eyes when you have a whole 2x4 in yours.  Don't offer judgment on someone else's sin- especially when there's an amazing opportunity to offer grace. 

But there's a second moral.  After Jesus tells the woman that she is forgiven, that He doesn't condemn her, He tells her to "go and leave your life of sin."  I take that as Jesus essentially saying, "I forgive you.  I love you.  You're fine... Now leave that part of your life and don’t ever go back."  I feel like we so often glaze over that part.  And yes, if I had to put this story in a category, it would be under the “God’s Grace” section.  But there’s a part of me that wonders how much we only emphasize God’s grace because that’s more comfortable than everything Jesus is really offering here.  I believe He’s offering grace not only to give a second chance, but because He hopes, desires, and expects the woman to do better in her second chance. 

What’s fascinating to me though is that Jesus didn’t offer His forgiveness conditionally.  The woman didn’t have to do anything, not then or later, to receive His grace.  He just simply told her that He did not condemn her and that she should leave her life of sin.  But what may be bigger here is not what Jesus did for this woman, but what He calls us to do. 

I’m really good at taking stories like this one and talking about what Jesus did for those around Him.  What I’m not so good at is taking what Jesus did and applying the same practices to my life.  The fact that God is full of infinite grace is beyond overwhelming.   And the fact that God will unconditionally offer grace with merely the hope, desire and expectation of us leaving our lives of sin is incredibly important.  But I think the biggest lesson being taught here is that Jesus calls us to be people of infinite grace regardless of our expectation for change.

My most recent boss was a great example of this.  He offered his employees a lot of freedom and was clear about each employee’s “big-picture goals.”  He wasn’t the type to give you a check list to complete by the end of the week.  He didn’t have a lot of demands at all, really.  His approach to leadership was a reciprocal one.  He treated you well, respected you, and supported you.  His expectations for his employees were the same- that they would repay his trust with an honorable and productive work ethic.  Many people would assume that this style of leadership would put my boss in a position where he might get walked over from time to time.  And those people would be right.  My boss did have those who took advantage of his kindness, his trust, and his leadership.  But even when he knew that people were taking advantage of him, he didn’t let that change his leadership style.  He still invested in you, the employee, and would constantly offer you grace with the hope, the desire, and the expectation that you would do better with your second chance. 

In the two short years that I worked under this boss, the number one reason for people in my department working where they did was because of their leader.  And the number one regret of those who left was that they’d be giving up a boss that they truly looked up to.  For there are very few people in this world that can receive grace and immediately change; but there are even fewer people who can offer grace regardless of change occurring. 

However, I won’t pretend like this is easy.  I know for me personally, the battle of grace and what I do with it is a difficult one.  It’s very rarely as simple as “continue to offer grace regardless of the circumstances.”  Proverbs 26:11 compares a fool repeating his folly as a dog returning to his vomit.  And yet Jesus also claims that we need to be people that forgive seventy times seven times.  What I’m realizing though is that these two aren’t contradicting each other- they’re complements.  Offering grace doesn’t mean acting like nothing ever happened.  Offering grace means giving that person the opportunity for redemption.  Whether or not they take it is up to them. 

So when Jesus responds to if the woman should be stoned, He’s not only offering the woman freedom from her sins.  He’s offering the crowd freedom as well.  For giving grace leads to our own freedom.  It offers us the opportunity to let go of what’s frustrating, teeth grinding, and heart wrenching and instead allows us to receive peace and shalom.  It allows us to let go of circumstances that are not in our control.  And it frees us the responsibility to justly discipline those who wronged us.  Condemnation only gives us more to carry.  For Jesus doesn’t tell us to be Him.  He tells us to be like Him.  Our job is to offer grace.  And we’re to offer it to everyone- to those who let us down, disappoint us, fall back in the same old traps, lie to us about their progress, show no sign of hope, hurt us in ways we thought they couldn’t, took advantage of us, or for any other reason- we are to continually offer grace.  Because that’s what Jesus offers us.

Natalie Jean

My sister gave birth to a baby girl about two weeks ago now.  It’s the first baby in the Allen family to be born since October 14^th, 1986.  That’s nearly 25 years.  And since I was indeed that baby that was born nearly 25 years ago, it’s natural for people to question my jealously level.  I never had to deal with “a new addition” before now.  So it’s natural for me to feel like someone is invading my territory a little bit.  No longer can I play the card, “But I didn’t know!  I’m just the youngest (shoulder shrug, kick the dirt).”  Nor can I simply bat my eyes, hang my head and simply say sorry with a funny pseudo-lisp and just get away with my wrongdoings.  The world has changed dramatically for me in just a few short days. 

But to answer your question of whether or not I’m jealous, I answer that with an emphatic, No.  I’m not the jealous type.  No, sir!  I am simply changing roles.  Much like Woody had to do when Buzz LightYear came around, or what the Rocket/Gary Busey had to do when Henry Roengardner started to pitch for the Cubs, or how Hillary Clinton probably felt when Sarah Palin made her run at politics, my role in the Allen-family has shifted.  And it’s shifted to Life Coach.  Yes, I am going to take young, two-week old Natalie Jean under my proverbial wing and teach her how to fly.  Scratch that!  I’m going to teach her how to soar.  Because everyone knows that soaring is much more majestic.  So once the United States stops its faulty democracy and finally becomes a monarchy, Natalie will be its first queen.    

Therefore, here are some tips that I have for you, Natalie (once I teach you how to read next month):

1.       Timing is everything.  The best thing in the world at an inopportune time can be the worst thing in the world.  Example:  Tickling a stranger.

2.       Opt for homeschooling during middle school.  In fact, don’t leave the house during those years. 

3.       Learn to play the piano.  Everybody likes people who can play the piano (just as long as you don’t brag about it or offer yourself to play at social gatherings). 

4.       Don’t own a cell phone till you’re in college. 

5.       Go to college.

6.       It seems like the people I know who’s “All-Time Favorite Fill-in-the-Blank” is current, are not “Contributing People to Society.”  Therefore, start to like the classics.  Books.  Movies.  Music.  Even candy that you’ve never tasted.  Speaking of which, man do I miss reading To Kill a Mockingbird and watching Rain Man with some Bob Dylan in the background and a Zagnut bar in my hand. 

7.       Keep your old t-shirts. 

8.       Don’t forget people’s birthdays.  There are a lot of things you’re allowed to forget- but birthdays are NOT one of them.  People will hold that over your head forever.  Also, sorry again, Mom

9.       Winning isn’t everything.  But it’s something. 

10.   Ask your parents to document your life with pictures- not video.  Home videos that have you in them are really fun for everyone BUT you.  Pictures make you feel better than you were.

11.   Always take the 3 minutes to do something that would cost you a lot more time and money if you had to do it later.  Examples:  Brushing your teeth, reading instructions, and knocking on the door (therapy is expensive). 

I love you, Natalie Jean.  Soon enough, we’ll have our very own handshake. 

Love,

Andy

                  (my niece)

The Value of Opinions

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about people’s opinions.  And no, I haven’t only been thinking about how they’re typically different than mine.  I’ve been mostly interested in how people, including myself, react when we find that others’ opinions oppose our own.  I think most people are quick to defend their opinions first as opposed to stepping back and thinking about their opposition’s.  Why is it that we’re so ready to jump in to heartily defend what we think about certain things?  And it could be about anything.  If you don’t like my clothes, my team, my personality, my drink of choice- I’m probably going to debate you at least a little and try to bring you to my side.

And pretty much everybody does this.  In fact, I can think of very few people who graciously receive an opposing opinion.  Most people I know do one of the following:  

1.       They fight back immediately (e.g. "No, you Dummy, you're wrong- and this is why...).

2.       They’d rather not fight so they reply by faking submission and sneak in a passive insult (e.g. “Oh, yeah, I guess maybe you could be right.  Of course, every fact in the world points to the opposite but you’re absolutely entitled… to your opinion.).

3.       They choose to say nothing and instead sit looking like you’re slightly more inferior than you once were (e.g. Picture your average house cat).

So why are we, as people who claim to be all about freedoms of expressions, beliefs, and actions, so quick to claim that our opinions sit inside the mecca of truth? 

I think the answer is two-fold. 

I think the first part of the answer is because our values are intrinsically tied into our opinions.  The reason I dress the way I dress, the reason I cheer for the teams I cheer for, the reason I love the woman I love, is all because my values are permeated throughout those choices.  Take my wedding ring for example.  I chose a plain, gold band because at heart, I’m a traditionalist, I thought a silver or two-tone ring made me feel like a Hollister model (aka- inherently evil), and because it was my Grandfather’s wedding ring.  Each of things resemble something that I am or want to be and for that, I am wearing the ring I am. 

And we can do this with each and every one of our choices.  For the guy that moved across the country and chose China as his home- his values drove that choice.  For the parents that decided to not attend their child's wedding- their values drove that choice.  For the friends that decided to all live together after college to work on what community really looks like- their values drove that decision.  For the girl who decided that law school would be a good career choice but chose to keep teaching in her high school that desperately needed her- her values drove that decision.  For the couple that stopped doing what was financially best for them and started to do what was financially best for others- their values drove that decision.  

I started to think about all of this when I was walking in downtown Akron and I saw a 35 year old man riding his bike with awkward looking jean shorts, a thick brown belt, a tight, tucked-in red polo, high, white socks and an old-school helmet.   It was at that moment that I thought to myself , “I wouldn’t ever walk out of the house looking like that unless I was going to an 80’s party.”  So in laymen’s terms, I was completely judging the guy.  But as I watched that man ride away, I started to think that Red-Polo guy probably really liked his look.  Actually, he probably felt most comfortable in that look.  You know what, his look probably gave him more comfort than anything I would do to “help” him.  And that’s when “eureka” happened in my head.  I started to have one of those cinematic moments when my whole world rushed by and I watched myself judge others’ taste in music, debated people who like Nutella, argued over why holding hands in church is distracting, and so many other petty (and sometimes pretty shameful) things.  Because even though it’s really easy to debate the random guy who still likes Nickelback, in reality, when I judge or debate others’ opinions, I’m not just opposing their taste.  I’m potentially claiming their values are wrong.  And I need to be careful, caring, and well intentioned to do that. 

Now on to the “second fold.”  I realize that this is a little overdramatic at times.  If you debate me that bananas are NOT horrid, hellish things, well, you’ll lose- but more importantly, I won’t feel like you’re attacking my values.  In fact, there are a ton of things like that.  Each differing opinion doesn’t necessarily constitute an open-field battle.   However, there are plenty of my opinions that I will openly and persistently debate and I have found that when I do that, I’m really saying one of two things:

1.       You’re opposing a value that is really important to me.

or

2.       Your opinions are revealing a value in me that I’m not proud of.

It’s pretty clear to me that if I were to tell someone that their wedding ring is awful to look at, providing they’re wearing it for specific and meaningful reasons (even if it’s two-toned silver), they’d most likely debate me why it’s in fact not awful but rather a meaningful symbol.  However, if the ring they chose was the first one they found and they “kind of liked it,” the debate will probably last all of forty-five seconds.  And that’s because the investment in that thing, or the value that is being displayed, heavily affects how we debate our opinions. 

Now if someone came up to me and told me that I need to work on my “approach” with people- that I don’t show enough care when I confront (care-frontation, if you will) or that I offer more critique than “constructive” criticism- I probably will debate them for a while on that.  And if I’m being honest with myself, I’ll debate my approach because my opinion of it being “the best way to handle conflict or opposition” shows a value of mine that I’m not always proud of.   I value tough love over the gentle love.  I more often choose the route of pure honesty instead of sitting and listening to people vent.  I’ll open up a Christmas present and give my immediate feedback (in my defense though, that’s an Allen-family trait).  And while sometimes these routes are appropriate, there are plenty of times when my reaction is too harsh, or too brash, or too rude.

But the point of this is to not critique how we confront one another but instead, it’s about why we do it.  See, I have an easier time debating than I do saying, “You’re right.” I often times choose to argue instead of humbling myself.  And what’s worse, it takes very little for me engage in these conversations.  Usually all it takes is a non-verbal cue or an inadvertent, tangential remark from a friend’s friend to cause me to defend my opinion.  And while writing this all down is a bit therapeutic, it’s mostly convicting.  Because we defend our opinions of drinking too much, how we treat our co-workers, why we watch what we watch, how hard we work at our jobs, the music we listen to, the best way to drive a car, why we don’t talk to our neighbors, what we did on the weekend, and most importantly, why I’m right and you’re wrong.  But these “opinions” are far more than just that.  These opinions are really giant bumper stickers telling us and everyone else what our values truly are.  And if you’re anything like me, you’re not always proud of the values you’re displaying.