Man it’s been a long time since I’ve written in here. I’m not sure why. I suppose it’s because I haven’t had anything blog-worthy to write about. Truth is, I still don’t have anything of said status to write about so I am going to go free style here and see what comes out. I’m going to do my best to not back space, not re-read any sentences- I’m just going to go.
I love pizza. I mean, I really love pizza. It might be unhealthy how much I love pizza in fact. I like pizza so much, I like it when you put taco toppings on pizza. I also like it when it’s barbeque pizza, Hawaiian pizza, and breakfast pizza. I would honestly eat pizza every day if I could. I like deep dish, thin crust, and regular pizza. I like pizza dough from the store. I like it from pizza shops. And I like most homemade pizza doughs. I love me some pizza.
Next topic. Um… man, I’m catching myself thinking about pizza when I’m trying to push myself to think about something else. Oh I got it!
Isn’t it funny how the stories in our lives that are told and re-told time and time again hardly begin with, “So we told ourselves before we set out to do this thing that this would be something that we were going to talk about for the rest of our lives.. . and it is!” No, the craziest stuff happens to us when we weren’t planning on it happening.
For example. I accidentally raspberried a complete stranger in the small of his sweaty back going up the Summit Plummet at Blizzard Beach in Disney World. I have told that story over and over and over again. And I’ll tell you what, I did NOT press my lips against that stranger’s epidermis thinking, “Man, this might be the most embarrassing and funny story I will ever tell and I will tell it so many times.” Nope, I simply was bored, I thought the stranger in front of me was one of my good buddies, and low and behold, a story was born of great joy! Crazy.
Alright, that didn’t really get us anywhere, did it? Now I’m done with that topic and let’s be honest, I don’t think it shed any real light into our lives. Move on, shall we? Okay? Okay!
Sometimes I will be talking to Mel (my wife) about something and all of the sudden, I’ll ask another question out of the blue and she will ask, “What on earth were you thinking about just now that made you ask that question?!?” And I’ll answer there’s a very logical explanation. You know what, this would make more sense if I gave an example.
Mel: Hi Andy! Man, I love you. How was your day?
Andy: My day was great! How was your day?
Mel: It was good. We have parent teacher conferences so I have to go back tonight.
Andy: Hey, what’s the next place you think we should visit?
Mel: What on earth were you thinking about just now that made you ask that question?!?
Andy: Well, there’s a very logical explanation. You said that you had parent teacher conferences and then I thought about that one parent you told me about that one time that sort of hit on you and that made me feel kind of frustrated even though it happened like 5 years ago and then I got really frustrated because not only were you frustrated at the time, but I don't like the idea of other dudes hitting on you. And then I thought to myself “Andy, why are you so frustrated with something that happened so long ago?” And then I realized that I needed to relax and naturally I came to the conclusion that the best way we both like to relax is by traveling so I figured we’ve been to Spain, London, Ireland and Toronto so I thought, “Man, where should we go next?” Hence why I asked you where you wanted to travel next. DUUUUUHHHHH
That happens a lot more than I’d like to admit. My brain is like the Dallas Superhighway System in that there’s a lot of ways to get to the same place but sometimes I decide to take the scenic route, other times, I like to go other places before I hit my destination, and sometimes, I like to go the fastest way there.
This blog post seems like I’m taking the scenic route.
Okay, I’ve rambled long enough. Let’s talk about the last topic that jumps to my head.
Right, got it. I hate technology.
It’s true. I hate technology. I’m still baffled by the fact that I can have dual monitors. How my mouse can go from one screen to another screen is MIND NUMBING. I mean come on, it’s nuts. But for most people in the world, technology is the coolest thing out there and without it, their every day activites are cut down by 75%. Modern day technology is killing me ever so slowly. And you can play the card of “Well this world is becoming so much more connected” or “We are finding faster, more efficient ways of doing everything!” or “Technology gives the smallest person a voice!” Well guess what, people aren’t using modern day technology for those reasons- at least not the majority of people. They’re using technology to check their email during a concert. They’re using it to critique/bash/rip to shreds something or someone they know little to nothing about- and they're doing so very effectively. They’re telling the world via status message that they're either a.) showering b.) they hate the government or c.) that their world is the worst ever and no one will ever understand unless they use these song lyrics. I’ve even seen status messages with the combination of those things. It looks something like this:
“Oh man. Taking a shower after the Republican party took another dump all over FOX news. Well, you know what they say “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, well you might find, YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!”
Keep it to yourself folks. My advice? Go back to being impressed with the fact that you can type in any word whatsoever onto a lit-up screen and thousands upon thousands of things that relate to that one word appears. I think we should all just sit and be mesmerized by the concept of Google for a little bit. I know I sure am.
Alright, well that was a little cranky towards the end. I apologize for that. I knew I’d find something that would make my fingers type super, super fast. I know I said I’d end with that technology thing but I really don't want to end on a low note. So I’d like to end with a picture I randomly drew on Paint. I’m going to do that for hopefully no longer than 5 minutes and then I’ll come back and explain it.
This of course is a picture of me at the Disney World accidentally raspberring (or zerbert-ing) a stranger. My friend John (who I thought was going to be the recipient of my boredom-induced decision) was in front of the stranger and Gabe and Jonathan were behind me- very confused and mystified that I did what I did. Oh, and there's a pizza slice at the bottom of the stairs. Because I love pizza.
Okay, that's all for now.
Take care folks.
